“But Right Now”…and Dating


One of my biggest pet peeves now is one of Baltimore city’s many popular sayings that people commonly are caught and love to say to each other.  “But right now…” this saying is being used by women and men all over the town.  My top advice is stop using it! I believe people are using it to avoid some confrontation of some sort. Stop being afraid of hurting someone’s feelings and be truthful to one another! The truth helps everyone in the end.

Annoying Sayings

People can use the annoying saying like this, “I want a relationship, but right now, my money is low, I don’t have a car, and I am so busy.” A lot of people don’t see what’s wrong with this statement. It’s definitely something wrong there. It’s leading to the person who’s listening to it to believe not today but another day.

Or when people use it like this, “I want a serious relationship, but right now, I’m not over my ex, I’m sorry.”  Though this is a statement that could be truthful, it’s still annoying. I’m a little guilty of using this line but I’ve grown out of using it.  People who use the saying “but right now” ultimately use it to hurt someone’s heart or well-being because this saying is meant to be the protector of hurting someone but is doing the opposite and causing serious damage and/or heart breaks.  I can’t stand seeing someone deal with a situation because of a hunch or something that could be. What’s wrong with being straight forward?

The “but right now” statement opens a wide door of hunches and assumptions of things that might happen but isn’t guaranteed. Instead, what a person should be doing is meaning what they say and doing as they say.  If a person isn’t over their ex and still wants to talk to other people, why not say “I like you, but I’m just getting out of a relationship and think that we should just date at the moment and not rush anything.” The “but right now” statement complicates situations and would only lead to someone waiting to approach a person for an answer at a later date.

And that brings me to another topic “dating”…


In my opinion, dating has come to a situation where there are two people who have feelings for each other that are just waiting to for their love to explode. It should be a feeling both men and women should share but to me, men are using the “explosion” to their advantage.

Dating isn’t when a woman stays in the house and man only uses her for having sex.  Dating isn’t just “chilling” or “hanging” in the house while the man simply thinks about sex. And more commonly for men now days, dating isn’t claiming IN YOUR MIND that someone is yours and then getting upset when the woman you THINK is yours is talking to someone else. Dating is simply seeing what’s out there.  It’s when you’re talking and seeing more than one person, and it’s just dating, sex isn’t involved until later, when you are both in agreement to the terms of a relationship. While dating, you aren’t staying at each other houses until you both agree to be exclusive. Obviously there needs to be a line drawn for this generation and I just drew the line.

Many people today are crossing lines and over lapping the terms of a relationship and dating.  Dating involves going out to a venue, somewhere such as movies, or dinner, somewhere for getting to know the person.  Relationships involves sex (some of the time), titles (claiming each other-boyfriend or girlfriend), staying at each other houses and/or spending time at each other houses. Men need to stop trying out women like they’re a piece of clothing and seeing if you can overlap the rules.  Women need to stop letting this happen to them and create some standards to keep. If he doesn’t want to follow them, then he isn’t the one you should to be dealing with.  After a date, you need to go home, not to the bedroom.  Sometime in dating you do go to the other person house to meet the family, but it’s for a few hours, and again you should be getting to the exclusive stage to do that. Follow the guidelines.

Dating someone is not the same as being in a relationship.  Think about when some of these guys say, “Oh no, that’s not my girl” while the girl is saying “That’s my boyfriend, I love him.”  First off the roles aren’t defined in their relationship with each other. More than likely, he sees women as only for dating and has already overlap some of the dating and relationship rules with any woman he’s seeing while they’re seeing it as a relationship. Please listen to me. Breaking someone’s heart for popularity and for jokes is not funny. Trust me; it will come back to around.  So please keep that in mind! Draw some lines.

Peace and Love,


Have you checked out my last advice column? Read But My Friend Told Me So on Doc’s Castle Media.


But My Friend Told Me So


Recently, I was watching TV and this commercial came on that stated “acne hates magnets because my friend told me so.” After hearing that, I had to comment.  Throughout grade school you and your friends will talk about a variety of subjects from what foods to eat to sex. But even though you might believe everything your friends say, it doesn’t mean that it’s true.

In middle school and in high school, you’ll learn new things and throughout this journey everyone is going to believe they’re right about something. But since everyone is still learning, some people can’t possible know all the answers.  On top of that, some of your friends might not be telling the truth. They could be afraid of who you are, but might not want to seem like a “punk.” So they agree with what you do or might say, “Oh yeah, that’s right,” knowing that it might not be.

I’ll give you guys an example.  While I was in high school, I had a friend talking with a group of people who were discussing sex. They were talking about the possibilities of a girl not getting pregnant, one way being by the girl sitting on top of a boy, and another way by a girl having sex it in the pool.  I’ll tell you that neither one of these ways is correct, a girl can still get pregnant! So in this case, would you listen to you friends?

Group Discussion

Here’s another example. I heard someone say once, “My mom doesn’t know everything. My friend knows so much more.”  Look, I know at this age you don’t always want to believe your mother. Since your friends are closer to your age, you want to believe them because they can relate more. But in this generation, there’s TV shows and the Internet influencing everyone’s decisions. Your friends could be telling you about what they’re watching. They might even suggest you to look up using these resources to prove their point. But you have to remember that even television and the Internet could be wrong.

Listening to friends

To get the truth and information for making decisions, you could gather examples from many others and think about it or if all else fail try it out yourself.  (Disclaimer: Please do not do anything that will truly harm yourself or anyone else.)   I’ve always had a friend that believed they were right all the time. The best thing I think you should do is ask a few other people, like an adult you can talk to and trust or a young adult you look up to, and put the pieces together. Figure out what to truly believe.  Life as a teenager is all about learning. Everything is a learning process.  With this blog entry, I hope this’ll help you throughout your journey and get you thinking before you take what you do for face value. Do your research!

Peace and love,


Have you read the last column for Vonni’s Advice? Read Fake Friends and Break-Ups on Doc’s Castle Media.

Doc’s Castle Media for Two Thousand and Thirteen!

For everyone who doesn’t know, March marks the one year anniversary if Doc’s Castle Media. Yay, Doc! Yeah, I know it seems like just yesterday you’ve heard about me. You’ve read about so many topics, such as the different Apps of the Week and my experiences at the Hip Hop Inaugural Ball, got involved in some interactive media, like Doc’s Picture Hunt and the Instagram Mini Series, and read a bit of advice in Jovanni’s column, see Vonni’s Advice. It didn’t seem like a like as the year went on. But looking back, Doc’s Castle Media offered a lot to our loyal readers and I hope you’ve enjoyed everything that was given. And with the new year rolling in, I have so many ideas and things I want to carry out. I can’t wait to share them with all of you. I’ll address a few in this blog and it will be your duty as loyal readers to continue to see everything play out as planned.
Doc's Castle Media 1st Anniversary

First and foremost, do you know I have a YouTube channel also named Doc’s Castle Media? YouTube is crazy! I thought I was being a part of the YouTube craze by simply watching people’s videos and commenting on them. Boy, I was wrong. You’re not really a part of the craze until you start making videos, yourself. I feel a sense of accomplishment when I get views on my videos, a similar feeling to how I feel about my blogs. I assume that everyone feels that way about a post. Well, I have this great idea for my channel. I’m taking up script writing in school, this semester, and I have an idea of writing mini scripts and finding a few people to act them out. Of course it means I’ll need to find a few acting friends by going to weird places that actors go. But it shall be done! I want to make friends with a few directors, as well. I guess I’ll meet them in some of those weird places, too.  We’ll see how effectively that goes. But I welcome anyone who wants a part of my channel’s production. Feel free to email me at docscastlemediainfo@gmail.com to see if you can savor an acting spot for my featured films.

Also, with this new-found interest in script writing, I’ve thought about sharing a few scripts with my readers. You know, I’ll do something similar as what’s done with K. Walker for the Hide and I’ll Seek Series; I’ll share my work with my readers for free. The plan should unfold by the end of the year when I’ll finally choose to make some of my scripts into videos. So make sure you’re reading my creative juices to watch my dreams for the channel unfold, bit by bit. It’ll be awesome.

Thirdly and lastly, I’m becoming tired of my blog being hosted through WordPress. I must make a site for my readers to go. What I have on the agenda is to publish the Doc’s Castle Media website. It will have everything that you see on my blog, but more! I believe it’ll be more convenient for my views to come to one place and get everything! I’m just sick of directing everyone to six million places to read about me. If I’m tired, I can only imagine how you feel. I apologize for the inconvenience, guys. But I appreciate you sticking around. Think of my website as a gift to you once it’s up and running. I might even throw a party for it. It’ll be an easy submission processes, follow-up procedures, and places to get everything you need from DCM. Are you ready for it?

I’m excited and ready to get the show on the road. But as of now, please continue to send your work through the original submission page. Brace yourself for 2013 with Doc’s Castle Media because some of your favorite columns will be coming back and new ones will make their appearances as the year moves forward. Stay locked.


Double Feature Special: Fake Friends, and A Break Up


I haven’t written anything in a while due to being busy with school!  You all know that education is very important to me.  Recently, a few friends and I have gone through some problems, and I would say that the top two types of problems we’re facing are between fake friends and breaking ups.
fake friends quote
I want to give some advice on breaks up first.  The game of love is a very dangerous, fun, exciting, and heartbreaking ordeal!  It can be very sad, but about 90 percent of people have to deal with a break up. If it’s your first love that you’re breaking up with, it is one of the most hardest things you’ll have to go through.  There are some stages which include guilt, anger, depression, happiness, and denial.  The break-up feels like a roller-coaster and majority of the time, you’ll go through this roller-coaster feeling again.  In my opinion, one of the first, best and quickest ways to get over your break-up is to delete, delete, delete!  Delete that person’s number, social network page, pictures, and put all the memories you have of them in a box.  Next best way to get over the break-up is if you write your feelings and have a fictional funeral! Let out all of your feelings on paper and then burn/bury that sheet. This is a sign of relief and letting go. Also, stay away from love songs! It will make you sadder! You don’t want to feel worse do you? I’d say you should listen to party songs to make you feel happier. Lastly, you should not make that person the center of all your attention when you talk to friends, as well. I know you need it all and your friends love you, but they don’t always want to talk about that person. These are a few things I have done and let me tell you, I feel so much better and freer.

Fake friends are people who act like your friends but when you aren’t around, they’re talking about you and saying negative things which may put you down in another person’s eyes.  Fake friends use you a lot.  From my experience with fake friends, I’ve seen that fake friends have a motive of being your “friend” and that’s why they keep you around. But once they are done with you, they show their true colors.  Here’s how you deal with those kinds of people. Once you know they are fake, get away.  There will be probably rumors and some of your mutual friends will turn their backs on your based on what you’re fake friend is saying about you, but its best to get away as soon as possible and to avoid that untrustworthy friend.  Do not gossip about them.  They do this to make you look bad because they know they are fake and a bad friend.  And the last thing you should do when dealing with a fake friend is ignore, ignore, ignore!  If they’re doing ignorant and rude stuff, then maybe you should handle it. But if it’s he said, she said talk circulating, do not feed into the intended drama that is trying to stir up. When people ask you about the conflict between the both of you, politely say “it’s none of your business” and walk away or leave the conversation at that.  Fake friends love gossip because they love to make up stories, and make themselves feel good because they’re probably miserable. You don’t want to stoop to their level. Believe me, it isn’t worth it.

I hope that this advice helps someone out there, and if you have a question for me email me at vonnieb905@gmail.com and your question might be in the next column.

Peace and Love,



Am I a gold digger, or just a woman!?

To recognize the difference between a gold digger and a woman, we must recognize what women are  looking for. That is that women are looking for someone who can provide. I hope you looked at the word CAN provide when reading that last sentence because that’s where the emphasis lays.

First off, I would like to say, these are my opinions and my beliefs. I wanted to do a blog where people would give me feedback, and I knew this topic would get people involved a bit. So let’s begin.

Gold Digger


One thing that young men should realize in today’s society is that from a scientific stand point, all woman look for someone who is physically attractive,  also, if a man has things and/or money to provide for us. This is because most women look for someone to care for their babies and their family. Men look for woman who can bear their children.  Now, let’s take a look at something else than the scientific stand point. Woman that men call gold diggers are ONLY are looking for someone who is already established and not looking for ANYTHING else.  Most men today feel like all women are like that because most women DO want someone who have SOME establishment. But of course ,WE can work on some things together.  Just like men want someone to hold them down, woman want the same thing. But videos and the media sometimes makes it seem like they are gold diggers for wanting stability and establishment   If a woman is giving a man sex, cooking, staying in the house, silence, and/or working herself, and he’s just giving her sex, then she should be happy. Listen up fellas, this is television and NOT life.  Being with someone is a partnership, period.  Yes, no matter what, someone in the partnership will give more than the other at some point, but that is what we call having someone’s back. We need to find a happy medium and stop letting the media dictate how we act!   Stereotypes are forming about men and women that I cannot stand and not ALL women or men are like your ex. We have to stop letting the hurt and the previous experience explain ALL people!

So, where do you stand on this topic? Do you think all women are gold diggers or do you believe they have reasons to demand stability? Leave your comments below.

Peace and Love,




Thinking about College (What should I do)


So I know a lot of Doc’s Castle Media fans are young adults and teenagers, and recently I came up with a topic about college. When choosing and applying to a college, it can be a stressful and a very important decision in your life. The main issue here is deciding what you want to be for the rest of your life! Wow, I know at this age you’re thinking about what you should wear tomorrow. But it’s something you have to think about. To make this decision easier for you, I have a list of some things I did while pondering that hard decision of what I want to be. I can honestly say you probably will find more than one thing you want to do with your life. Luckily, they have minors for that in whatever university you attend or choose to attend. Here’s my list:

Picking A College

1.) Write down a list of the top five jobs you want to have in life (these will be your majors.)

2.) Write down a list of ten schools that have that major.

3.) Pick three main majors you choose to pursue.

4.) Pick three schools you like with those majors.

5.) Think about if you really want to pursue that major, and think of all the jobs you’d get into with a degree in that major.

6.) Look at the requirements for these majors. Do you still want to do that?

7.) If yes, than look at the schools you’ve picked and see which ones have the majors. Look at least two of the three of your choices because you might want to change them later, once you’re in college. People do that quite often.

If you don’t want to go along with those requirements, than look at the next major choice that you have in mind and continue to search.

8.) Now, think of the majors you choose and see if they can go with each other like (psychology and criminal justice).

If they do, think about maybe minoring in your second career choice.

If they don’t coincide with each other, than look at the cost of the school you picked and start researching the school.

9.) You should be at the step where you picked a career or two, along with your top school.

10.) Last step, when choosing a school you should look at cost, activities, and just information about your major there and the school.

Now, this is some of the stuff I did when I pick a school.  The big thing for me was that the school I really wanted to go to didn’t accept me.  What do you do when this happens?  Go to a community college or your second pick for a year, get some college credits under your belt and then apply again. I did this and now I’m at my dream school. My major now is psychology with a minor in creative writing because I want to give advice through writing, and also write stories. I know that picking a major right now is scary. But I’ll tell you about 85% of college students change their major over and over. This is why I said pick about three of the five you really like because you can change or even minor in one of the majors you really like. I wish I had someone telling me how to do all these things when I was going through the process. But what someone else didn’t have I think the next person should, and with that being said here you go!

Peace and Love,



Sorry, I’ve been busy!

So guys, I haven’t been able to get too much new content onto the blog site for you all to check out and I’m sorry about that. But school,with the addition of my life, has definitely been hectic. I’m trying to get into the swing of things and create a balance between school, my internship, work, and my personal life. So bare with me. I haven’t forgotten about you. I’ve actually been thinking about nothing but Doc’s Castle Media and way to improve it.

Doc’s Castle Media will have so many possibilities once I get rolling, y’all will love what you’ll see. Look for a new website, logo, and other great opportunities within the company because school is teaching me so much that can be used to improve Doc’s Castle Media.
I’ve spoken to Vonni who does the advice section that you all like to read, she’s looking to start vlogs for you all. K. A. Walker will be submitting the last chapter to Hide and I’ll Seek soon. You can finally see what happens to Roxy and Aston. As for me, I’ll still be thinking of new ways of getting you all involved  with what’s going on. I take suggestions if you think you have ideas suitable for our site!

Other than all of those things, the DCM staff has been basically focusing on school. So please don’t give up on us. We are still trying to fit y’all into our crazy schedules because working with Doc’s Castle Media is actually something that we enjoy. It’s not work at all. I actually love this. So if you want to hop onto what Doc’s Castle Media is doing, you might as well join in with the fun, too. Just check out the contact us section and you got us!